Timothée was often sick since he was a baby. It has been, then in France, discovered an immunizing lack which was the cause of these serious frequents episodes of infections and fevers.
Due to that, he was often hospitalized and received antibiotic and others drugs by intravenous, because of the infections in his mouth and his throat, he was unable to eat. At this time, it had been noticed infections on the skin, like herpes. The doctors didn't attach there more importances, nor for the fevers, the examinations carried out at the Hôpital Neker - enfants malades in Paris remained without continuation.
When we moved to Finland, the first two years, Timothée was very healthy, no more fevers even not a little flu. The fresh air of Finland, the hot summers, the cold and dry winters made him well. Outside at the morning to evening, sports nearby the forest of pines. He was well. We were relieved, we had finally teared off of this machinary in which these interminable diseases had putted us. He was happy at school, he was satisfied.
Then, afer two years, he started again to be sick. But not as dramatically as before, simply some flu. However, he was again very tired, sometimes headaches and complained to have pain in his legs. These symptoms worsened year after year, he also suffered of insomnia.
We had often accompanied him to the doctor, but these symptoms were simply putted on the account of the growth, apparently all children suffer about that. We were very anxious and had asked that it has to be made blood tests, which showed a quite excessive rate of leucocyte. We had suspected a leukemia, but the doctors assured us that it is not possible and said to us that there was no reason to be worry. We trusted theim and we continued to live normally.
In February 2000, appeared on the lower right eyelid a spotty, which was a little bluish and painful. we gave some eye's drop to him prescribed by the doctor. The drug made quickly effect, but the spotty renewed all the same. In July, the eye was infected very badly. We have been sent to the ophthalmology of the general hospital, where the doctor prescribed antibiotics and eyewash. The situation got better for sometimes, but when the school started other symptoms started again. The headaches became worse and Timothée was very tired. The leucocytes were still very high, and there neither, the doctors were not concerned.
At the end of November, during the weekend, Timothée was caught cold and the temperature begun to gone up. On Monday, the eye was infected quickly and the eyelid begun to become black. This was the starting point of our nightmare. General Hospital of Mikkeli, University Hospital of Kuopio, in intensive care, breathing apparatus, surgery room, the fight between life and death. Us, parents, were walking in these longs, white and stinking corridors of the hospital. We still remember very clearly these odours of drugs and food. We were in uncertainty, desperated, were terrified and completely confused. But we tried to stay in the reality for our child's sake, all instincts awake.
We didn't knew, nobody knew what was the desease our child was suffered off. Something unknown and evil destroyed his face and his body, the infection being already propagated on all the right of his face, on all the left of his chest and also on his right leg. All were only died skins, black, and the infection which extended again and again. We learned that the skin was gangrened, but for what reason? That was still a mystery.
One week later, the diagnosis fell; acute myeloïd leukaemia and pyoderma gangrenosum.
They didn't give us much hope, actually not at all, but we didn't want to think of such a possibility, that our child could die. No, it was necessary for us to cling to each possibility and to fight by all means. It was clearly explained to us the situation and what went arrived, the pronogsis was bad. It was completely correct for doctors and nursing staff to think like that, but it was to us to decide what we believe and hope; that our child will be cured, medicine will do its best, and God, to whom nothing is impossible.
Chemotherapy was started without delaying and other surgical operations were still necessary.
By these plastic surgeries it has been removed all the gangrened epiderms, which mean that a large part of his right face, to the very bone and the ablation of his eye which was damaged. A large part of skin of his left chest which was also grangrened was removed. To prevent any infection at the operated areas, it was necessary to make skin's implants. These implants were taken on his two thighs. The risk of new infections of the skin on the level of the thighs remained very high, but it was necessary to act quickly, despite everything.
When the breathing apparatus was disconnected, Timothée could be transfered to the department of cancerous children. Slowly, it became aware of what it had happened to him, after two weeks of artificial sleep. We can only imagine what a 11 year old child feels and thinks when he awakes and that he has the body covered of badages. Pains everywhere, the mucous bucale cracked, the implants areas of his body was itching, pipes everywhere. What did all this mean? The fear and the distress were certainly very intense. What could we do? A strong anguish and fear had also invaded us. We could only repeat and repeat again that we love him and that we stay beside him.
The care was heavy and Timothée's condition bad. The hair quickly fell, the drugs caused strong secondary effects. Foods and liquids could not be swallowed, the skin itched him and the replacements of bandages increased the pains. All were dreadful, our child looked to us with pein and distress, and asked to us what's going on. Being ourself in ignorance we couldn't answer to him. We couldn't say to him that he's going to die. No, we said to him: "you are very sick, but they take care of you very well here at the hospital and we believe that Jesus will heal you." That's what we believed and Timothée also during these nine months. By this hope we received the vigour for each day in this terrible and difficult fight.
To tell a little this miraculous force that Timothée had, three days after he came from the intensive care, he could laugh watching the cartoon The Sympson's! The following days he sat on his bed and was drawing Donald Duck! Timothée followed the Christmas Eve, organized in the department, laid down in his bed, but he missed nothing.
During these nine months, there were so much sufferings, as well physical as psychic. Moments of hope and despair. We stayed at the hospital for a long period, but we were all times with our child. It was as we had lived in another world, with only one reality; an hospital's room and our child in.
We've had better moments too, we'd been able to spend a few days at home, where Timothée could be outside and even to ski!
Timothée had become acquainted with other children of the hospital. It has been a sincere friendship between the children. The most deep relationship was with Elisa, a 17 years old girl, who often came in his room to have a chat with and comfort. And when they couldn't be seen each other, because of the care, they sent words and delicacies by the nurses.
We wish to Elisa best things and thank you for the attentions which you gave to Timothée.
There were also Arto, Päivi and Eveliina which always remembered Timothée in her evenings prayers. Her mother was very good with us and supported us as soon as we arrived at the department. Now, Eveliina and Timothée are together in the house of the Father in Heaven.
And then, in June, care were stopped, because it has had no effect. We returned at home. For two months, Timothée could be outside, go to restaurant, play with his dog Coco, go to an amusement park and make some little things even if that required to him a lots of effort.
Several times in the week, we went to the hospital for check-ups and blood transfusions. Fortunately in Finland, these services; to receive bloods platelets and all other leukemic treatments, are well organized and controlled. It was nevertheless a very difficult period.
Timothée went at the first day's school in August, he sat in his wheelchair in front of his desk like the others. He was happy. But his forces started to decreased, he didn't have anymore appetite, he spent the nights awaked and slept the day. We spent the nights beside him, give him frozen water, trying to relieve his discomfort. We read the Bible to him, praid and sung Jesus, it was of that he was more thirsty.
Pains, there were a lots. Morfine was gave to him. He've had abscesses and hématomes on all his bodies. But he wasn't complainted, wasn't even irritated during the painful care. I never have in my life, nor in my career of nurse saw as much of patience. He hadn't been, at any time, bitter.
From where did this little boy get his force and his courage? There is only one answer there: Jesus!
The last evening for last word he said: "Abraham also hoped even if there were no hope."
On September 3, 2001, in the morning, we sat nearby his bed, we prayed, we seen that it was the last moment. we still fought during a moment again, we didn't want to gave up, but when Timothée said "Jesus", we asked to him "do you see Him?" the child only shaken his head, he couldn't spoke any more, we knew, then that his Dear Savior had came to take his child with Him. He didn't belong to us any more, we didn't want neither to prevent him to leave, we only putted him, with joy, in the tended arms of Jesus.
Timothée tightened then his sick arm towards something which was invisible to us, however he was no more concient.
This Monday, September 3 at 10.35 o'clock, our dear child returned in the Celestian Light. Together, we closed his eye, the only one which remained to him, but we knew that at this moment he looked at the wonders of the Sky with new eyes.
This very day came autumn.
Guestbook...
Just ten years ago we were in hospital and you my child you were so ill, you had so much pain and suffered but I got you in my arms after so long time. It was my christmas gift, you gave me a little kiss and said " je t'aime maman". I am vaiting the moment that I can get you again in my arms and hear these words in Heaven's Kingdom. Je t'aime Timothée Maman
Hei! Kävin lukemassa sivujanne. Oma poikani Joonatan kuoli 3-vuotiaana aivokasvaimeen reilu puoli vuotta sitten. Olimme hoidoilla myös kysillä. Siunausta elämäänne! Kerran olemme taas kaikki yhdessä Taivaan kodissa. Sinne asti täytyy jaksaa tämän maailman taistot. Mutta rakkaat poikamme ovat jo parhaassa turvassa.
Olen harrastajanäyttelijä Mikkelistä ja olen ammatiltani nykyjään linja-auton kuljettaja. Noin vuoden ajan on elämääni ja ajatuksiini melkein joka päivä liittynyt Ranskalaisen kirjailijan Eric-Emmanuel Schmittin näytelmä Oskar ja Mamma Roosa. Tarina pienestä pojasta Oskarista ja hänen ystävästään,satavuotiaasta leikkitädistä, Mamma Roosasta. Kaunis ja koskettava tarina leukemiaan sairastuneesta pojasta ja hänen viimeisistä elinpäivistään sairaalassa, jossa hän Mamma Roosan avulla löytää Jumalan ja saa siitä voimia ja ymmärrystä jaksaa elämänsä loppuun. "aika pieni ja heiveröinen kukkahan se oli, mutta urheasti se hoiti kasvin hommansa alusta loppuun,eikä jättänyt kesken". (sanoi: Oskar) Näytelmää tehdessäni huomasin useasti ajattelevani Oskarin rohkeaa ja toisia ihmisiä huomioonottavaa asennetta, sekä kykyä nähdä elämän kauneus ja viehättävyys pienissäkin asioissa. Timotheen tarinaa lukiessani tuli tunne kuin olisin lukenut tuttua tarinaa ja tajusin,että pojat ovat kuin "kaksi marjaa" ja olenkin varma että he olisivat olleet tulleet mainiosti toimeen keskenään.Kaksi älykästä, herkkää ja taiteellista kaveria. Timotheen vanhemmat kävivät katsomassa näytelmän Mikkelin teatterin pienellä näyttämöllä. Kunnioitan suuresti heidän rohkeuttaan uskaltaa katsoa asioita uudelleen "suoraan silmiin". Toivonkin että he saivat lisää lohtua siitä hetkestä ja muistaisivat kaikkia niitä ihania ja hyviä hetkiä, joita he saivat Timotheen kanssa viettää. Toivotan koko perheelle kaikkea hyvää ja siunausta. Jouni
I think so often about my Anna and when I do I think about all the other grieving parents I know and lift us all in prayer. We so need our Lord's comfort, peace and encouragement. I pray you are held closely in His arms as Timothée's Homegoing anniversary approaches. "I send my weary heart to all; Who shed those tears of pain; With caring tears from my own eyes; my message to you will be; my friend, I pray for thee." (from the poem "I Pray for Thee" , in the collection of prose and poems "If I Could. . .", all by Paul McCutcheon, oldguy05@hughes.net
Hyvät Timotheen vanhemmat Olette käyneet mielestäni elämän vaikeimman asian läpi -ja kestäneet -ja vahvistuneet. Varmaan Herralla on teille tehtävä jonka vain te voitte tehdä. Olkaa siunattuja, rukoilen puolestanne.
Hei! Luin Timotheeststa kirjoittamasi tarinan. Liikutuin, kuinka hän ei luovuttanut elämänhaluaan vakavassa ja vaikeassa sairauksessa. Toivoa ei saa menettää! paljon voimia jokaiseen päivään!
". . .weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) And what a glorious morning that will be! As Timothée's Homegoing anniversary approaches, we pray that our Lord hold you very close and that you may know His comforting presence in a special way.
Löysin nämä sivut sattumalta, monen vuoden jälkeen.Palasin ajassa taaksepäin ja lämpimät muistot täyttävät mieleni.Jaksamista elämässä eteenpäin.Miten voitte ja missä olette? KAIKKEA HYVÄÄ.
I know your pain and sorrow, especially now as Timothée's birthday approaches. I praise our Lord and am so very, very grateful that He blessed these wonderful children with so much kindness and grace! "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come." (Isaiah 57:1) May the Blessed Hope continue to blaze in your hearts!
je voulais lui dire bonne chance a timothée
Otan osaa suruunne ja toivon teille jaksamista sekä värikästä syksyä ainakin puiden merkeissä. Sain viestinne meidän osaston muistojen runoillan merkeissä. Itse toimin Mikkelin syöpäosaston pj:nä. Kitos että saamme käyttää runoasi! Pirkko
Our Anna was also 12 year old with the heart of a small child and the wisdom of an elder when our Lord took her Home. I hold you tightly and fervently in my prayers as Timothèe's birthday approaches. May our hearts be lifted to Heaven. May our spiritual eyes be opened to our Lord's Light and might we see beyond the now to the glorious promise of forever in the presence of our gracious Lord and our beloved children.
Koskettavat sivut, joita ventovieraskin luki tunteella. Lähimmäisen sairautta, taistelua ja lopulta kuolemaa läheltä seuranneena tiedän, että olette keränneet sivuille myös paljon hyödyllistä tietoa ja ajatuksia, jotka auttavat niitä, jotka vastaavassa tilanteessa tarvitsevat apua ja tukea. Kiitos.
Hei! Osuin näille sivuille sattumalta etsiessäni tietoa lasten leukemioista. Hyvin koskettavat. Rohkaisuksi haluaisin antaa vinkin eräästä linkistä, joka mielestäni kaikkien syöpäpotilaiden pitäisi nähdä... Osoite on www.thesurvivormovie.com
Hei aikaa on kulunut siitä kun tavattiin siellä lapsensa menettäneiden tapaamisessa Utajärvellä 2002. Olisi mukava kuulla teistä. Terveisin Seppo, Sirkka ja pojat.
What a loving tribute to your precious son. I'm sorry for your loss. What a terrible thing for a Mummy to have to endure. Thank You Yeshua for being with Esther through this terrible thing. And Father, You too had to endure the death of Your Son. And I thank You that we don't walk this alone. I thank You that You are there with us and that because Your Son rose from the dead that gives us the strength to keep on knowing that our little ones too shall be seated with You. They just went before we wanted them to. In the Name above all other names Yeshua HaMessiach.
Tosi koskettavat sivut joita tässä luin ja minusta oli todella mukavaa, että minun runoni löytyi sieltä, jonka olin lapsellenne tehnyt ajatuksin siivin. Toivotan teille Jumalan siunausta ja kaikkea hyvää eteenpäin.Palaan näille sivuille myöhemmin taasen runo muodossa. Sari opettaja
dear esther and samuel,I read your the entire web page and wept through the whole thing.Now that i am a mother I imagined that it was my child going through what timothee had endjured and i can see the pain and despair that was before you.My heart goes to you both and it took courage to write your emotions for all to read but I now know more about timothee than i did when he was alive.I say a prayer for you both and I shall visit timothee soon and tell him what adouring parents he has and how much he is loved and missed. with all my love Melissa
Paljon lämpimiä terveisiä täältä Kysistä 2403:lta Pirjolle ja Samuelille! Minulla oli onni tutustua Tituun ja Teihin...se jätti lähtemättömän vaikutuksen. Kaikkea hyvää sinne Teille ja halauksia! Voimia ja jaksamista! Hyvää uutta vuotta 2005!
Hello from America- I saw your wed site address on the site of Addison Toivola, who passed away on Sept. 9, 2003. Our own son, Mitchell, was a buddy to AJ's (Addison) at the Hospital. As I read your story I cried in reflection of you and your sons journey of cnacer and reliance on faith. In Christ, the day will come that we will all be gathered together in heaven - with our precious boy's. Our "Mitchie Boy" also battled with cancer for 10 months. He went to be with Jesus at the age of nine and one-half on April 11, 2003. He had a form of Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) NEVER before seen! In the spirit of Mitch we have formed a non-profit foundation called the "Miracles of Mitch Foundation". It provides Quality of Life Support to families of critically terminal ill children. I have also written a book, "Good-bye, Mitch". It is a brief reflection of his life, my frist years journey of grieving, and how the life of Mitch will continue with many miracles to come. I share this with you in the rememberance of our boys who are together in Heaven! God gave them a purpose - to show others in the world the Love of Jesus! Thank you for your web site in Timothee's memory. I will be praying for your continued strength and faith. I have listed our web addresses and invite you to come and visit them....www.miraclesofmitchfoundation.org and for the book goodbyemitch.com God Bless, Becky Chepokas - Mitchell's Mom
Got your site from Michelle site. You have done a beautiful site for your son, Timothee! Bless and thankyou for sharing this around the world. Will be in our prayer!
Heard about yr dear son from Marcus web page and pray that your family gets the healing and peace u need, your son is an angel/ God Bless
Thank you for the kind encouragement! We, too will pray for your family.
Hei! Timothéen tarina on niin koskettava, että toivoisin mahdollisimman monen voivan lukea sen. Voisitteko ajatella laittavanne sen esimerkiksi cancerkidstories.org -sivuille (ellei se vielä ole siellä)? Kyseisellä sivustolla on monien muidenkin syöpään sairastuneiden lasten tarinoita. Osoite on http://www.cancerkids.org/children/stories/submit_story.cfm Voimia teille kaikille!
Pirjo ja Samuel - kaunis kiitos Teillä näistä sivuista. Lukemattomia kertoja olen selannut niitä ja löydän aina jotain uutta ja jotain lohduttavaa - samankaltaisia kokemuksia mitä koin Eveliinan kanssa ja vierellä. Näen sieluni silmillä lapsemme kulkemassa rinnakkain, ei kuitenkaan yksin vaan monien saman kokeneiden seurassa. Näinhän Sinä Pirjo tämän minulle lohduttavasti kerroit joskus puhelimessa. Vaikka lapsillamme onkin kaikki hyvin, niin valtava ikävä kouraisee päivittäin sisuksia eikä siitä selviä ilman itkua ja sisäistä tuskaa. Iloitsen siitä, että Teillä on niin vahva usko Luojaan ja että olette saanut avun ymmärtää ja kestää lapsenne fyysisen siirtymisen kauemmaksi. Niin Teillä kuin meilläkin henkinen välimatka ei ole pidentynyt vaan arvioni mukaan se on lyhentynyt ja tullut vankaksi väyläksi muistella lastaan. - Kaksi vuotta kävin Eveliinan haudalla päivittäin, mutta nyt joka toinen päivä ja aina kynttilää sytyttäessäni muistelen Eveliinaa, Titua ja Larissaa (en jaksa muistaa ennätittekö tutustua häneen KYS:ssa). - Lastemme valoisat muistot auttakoon osaltaan meitä kaikkia jaksamaan ja näkemään elämän arvokkuuden ja haurauden. - Lämmöllä Teillä ajatellen, kristiina
Seuraavat päivämäärät sururyhmälle: 22.4. klo 18.00 Lehmuskylän seurakuntakoti ja 3.6. klo 18.00 Anttola rantasauna (sauna- ja uintimahdollisuus) Lämpimin ajatuksin Sinikka ja Harri
Olemme lukeneet ja itkeneet.
Taivaallisen Isämme tiet ovat tutkimattomat, emmekä täällä ajassa vielä näe, miksi joudumme niin paljon surua kärsimään. Poikanne on Jeesuksen luona, ja hän varmasti toi kaikille valoa elämään, jotka häneen saivat tutustua. Kiitokset siitä, että jaoitte tarinanne, se varmasti puhuttelee ja lohduttaa monia, jotka kaikkinaisessa ahdistuksessa ovat, myös lapsensa sairauden vuoksi. Kaikkea hyvää elämäänne, Taivaan Isä teitä runsaasti siunatkoon.
Luin juuri teidän kertomuksenne. Pienestä reippaasta pojasta, osaisimpa itse olla yhtä rohkea ja reipas. Olen varma, että Taivaanisällä on teidän pojallenne erityis tehtävä enkelinä johon hänet on kutsuttu. Omakin lapseni on varmasti saanut tehtävän enkelinä ja tulemme viellä joskus näkemään omat rakkaat lapsemme. Olette tehneet ison työn tämän lapsenne sairauden tiimoilta ja näin varmasti autatte monia perheitä, joissa taistellaan lapsen sairauden kanssa ja ihmetellään, miten tästä eteenpäin ja mikä tarkoitus kaikella on. Oman lapsen kuolema on aina raskas kokemus olette kauniisti kirjoittaneet tästäkin vaikeasta asiata.Toivon,että kertomuksenne julkaistaisiin laajemminkin. Siunausta elämäänne toivottaen Sinikka
excusez moi mais je suis un peu nerveuse, je continue. Je suppose que Thimothée aussi vous a manque pour ce jour qui devrait être joyeux. Je suis de tout coeur avec vous et me rend compte de votre courage à surmonter la douleur et continuer a vivre après cette douleur que personne ne peut combler. Je vous admire car moi, je ne suis pas bien et je pense qu'il me faudra du temps pour me remettre de cette expérience assez douloureuse Amicalement solange de bruxelles
Pirjo et Samuel je vous remercie beaucoup d'avoir visité mon site sur Francis, et surtout l'attention d'avoir mis une bougie en Finlande pour sa mémoire. J'ai passé une mauvaise fête de Noël mais je pense que c'est tout a fait normal, puisque c'est le premier sans lui. Il m'a beaucoup manque comme je suppose que T
hier soir, je suis allée visiter le site de laurette fugain car j'y ai laissé plusieurs messages aussi. J'ai vu votre mot qui m'a touché. La première chose que j'ai faite ce matin, c'est aller visiter votre site que j'ai trouvé très émouvant. Mon compagnon est parti retrouvé votre petit ange le 7.11.2003 après 10ans de lutte contre cette maladie. Je n'arrive pas encore à l'accepter, je tourne en rond dans la maison et la nuit, il m'arrive de le sentir près de moi. Moi aussi, je lui ai dédié un site mais n'étant pas une pro, j'ai fait de mon mieux. http://looping08.skyblog.com Je suis de tout coeur avec vous et vous souhaite malgré l'absence de Timothée et de mon compagnon Francis une joyeuse fête de Noël. Ils seront dans notre coeur amicalement et à bientôt peut être sur mon site
Cette soufrance me revolte et me rappelle mon neuveu qui a aussi perdu son oeil suite au cancer. raison de plus pour ses camarades qui ont peur de lui en classe. Ce soir mes prieres vont envers toi petit ange venu du nord.
Pirjo ja Samuel Jaatte niin paljon meille sivussakulkijoille. Timothéen elämä, sairastaminen, kuolema ja luja usko iankaikkisuuteen, sekä teidän vanhempien rakkaus kaiken sen keskellä pysäyttää miettimään ja riisuu minut sanattomaksi. Kiitos rohkeudestanne työstää Timothéen tarina luettavaksi ja nähtäväksi. Ystävyydellä Minna